u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
