Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
