Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like death gave me a hand job
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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