so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
