can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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