Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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