roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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