put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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