In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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