Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
