Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
