youre lurking in front of me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
