nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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