Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
