In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
