So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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