the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize