Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
