So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
