Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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