Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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