whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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