I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
