Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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