I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
