I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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