Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
zippers are such a cool invention
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
