I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
