he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
