my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
