Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will be naked everywhere
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
