when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
