just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
