ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
