you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
