I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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