i jhust puked up my retainher.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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