nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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