why im i the only drunk person in the library?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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