how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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