He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
