he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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