guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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