I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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