You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The air was thick with penises
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
