Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I forget how to act sober
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