My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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