Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if i died would you start the facebook group?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
