I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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