There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
