I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
