It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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