From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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