bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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