Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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