There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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