Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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