drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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