You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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