who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize