I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
