I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
