Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize