tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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